Freight Train to the Future
by TempeTempe
Summary: What happens when a girl is found beaten and bloody outside of the clubhouse? How will everyone react when it is a girl from Jax's past who left without a word and broke his heart? Surprising twists on why this girl came back to Charming. Pre Season 1
1. Chapter 1

JPOV

I was sitting in the clubhouse when the door swung open and Chibs ran through.

"You're going to want to see this, brotha" Chibs said running back out without waiting for me to respond. I grabbed my beer and ran out after him. What I saw when I got out there almost dropped me to my knees. Sitting on the ground wrapped into herself was a girl who had been beaten beyond recognition. She had her arms wrapped around her knees and her head tucked between them. She was shaking.

"What the fuck is this?" I asked Chibs incredulously.

"I don't know. I pulled into the shop and she was curled up against the building. Do you think we know her?"

"I don't know. We should get her inside and get her cleaned up. Call Gemma and Clay and get them here. I'll round up the others from the clubhouse." Chibs bent down and picked her up and she violently flinched away from him. Chibs ignored her and reached out anyway.

"No! Don't touch me! I want Jax! Jax!"

Fear and rage coursed through my veins when I heard that voice. I knew that voice. My vision went red and I shoved Chibs out of the way and picked her up. As I was running to the clubhouse I was praying to a god I wasn't sure I believed in. _It's not her_ was all I could think. I had to make myself believe.

I laid her on the couch and ran to the back rooms banging on doors as I went.

"Pussy and beer can wait. We got an emergency in the main room!"

There were several thuds and one cry of "you dropped me!" before all the doors opened nearly simultaneously.

Once all the guys were converged into the main room, I went back to the couch to survey the damage on the girl. Her feet had welts and cut marsk, her legs were bare and had varying bruises. Some new some old, but there were many. There were also cuts in varying stages. She had a pair of underwear and a shirt that was ripped apart. You could see the protrusion of a rib on the right side and a cut across her abdomen that was still bleeding. The skin around her collar bone was sunken in and the bones were sticking out. She was extremely malnourished. I could not make myself turn her head up to face me. I could see the swelling on her cheekbones. I finally got the nerve to move her head when the front door banged open. She looked up and I jumped back like she had burned me. I fell to my knees and rocked back and forth. Before I realized, I had starting crying. A face I haven't seen in person in 10 years, but have seen in my dreams every night for 12 years was looking up at the open door. I felt Chibs hand on my shoulder.

"Brother. Jax, you alright? What it is?" Chibs asked worriedly. Before I could respond, Gemma did.

"It's the past freight training through his heart" she said icily.

A murmur of confused questions hung heavily in the air. Before anyone could voice them completely, Gemma spoke again.

"It's Tara."


	2. Tara's back

**A/N: ** This is my first story. I hope to upload chapters twice a week. I am still writing it so it could change all the time! Suggestions are welcome. Thanks!:)

JPOV

A collective gasp went throughout the room. I looked up at Gemma who was a mix between worried and enraged. Her rage and my rage were for two different reasons.

"Okay. Chibs, Juice go get wet and dry towels. Prospect go get a bucket of hot water, no soap. Op, get a clean outfit. Not one of Tig's preferably." I look over at Tig and he is shaking his head but smiling. He knows.

"What the hell happened to her?" I looked up and Donna had come in and sent the kids to Op's room. "Oh my god! It's Tara! What is she even doing in Charming?" Donna was talking to herself more then anyone around her.

Opie came out and stood next to me.

"Jax, you should take her to your room. She's kind of on display out here and she's already been through a lot. Let's not add more."

I looked up at him and back down to Tara. He was right and I was too blinded by my own pain to see it.

"Okay. Op and Donna can you guys help get stuff into my room? Chibs, come with me. You're the only one with any medical training. Ma, you should come too. A friendly face might be nice." I was cut off by Tara's menacing snort.

"Yeah, friendly. Let Gemma come. She can see what happens when hate clouds judgment." Everyone turned to Gemma who looked much more fearful then before.

"I think I'll just wait out here" Gemma said. She was gone before I could ask about this.

Once we had Tara back in my bed, Chibs was entering with more materials. He had gauze, disinfectants, and Band-Aids of varying sizes. Op and Donna followed with the rest of the things. Donna started washing Tara from bottom up. Her feet, on top of being bloody, were also extremely dirty. Donna gingerly started washing all the dirt off before she would disinfect them. They weren't really bleeding anymore, but the caked on blood looked really bad.

"Tara, what happened?" Donna asked. The sound of Donna's voice stunned me. For a moment, I forgot that when Tara disappeared 10 years ago, I wasn't the only one that was effected by her absence. Tara and Donna had grown up in Charming with Opie and I. We were so close in high school that everyone thought Tara and Donna were sisters. When something happened, it effected both of them. Donna always says how much she wish Tara were still here to help her with the responsibilities and feelings that come with being an old lady.

"I don't know if this is the best time to be talking about it, Donna. We should probably get her cleaned up and bandaged before we think about that." Opie said to his wife.

"No, it's okay." Tara said lethargically. "I was being kept at a house in Lodi. The person I was with dropped me off at the Charming sign, and I walked here from there. No one was on the street at this time of night. I remembered where the clubhouse was and came straight here. I collapsed outside, unable to move any farther. I was outside of the clubhouse for half hour before he showed up." She said nodding towards Chibs.

"Darling, you walked all the way from one side of Charming to the other? Why didn't you stop at the police station which is on the way here?" Chibs asked.

"I didn't want all the questions. I just knew that I needed to see Jax right away and the rest would come with time. It's a long story, and a long road to recovery so I should assume I'll have time to do both." Tara said quietly.

"Who did this Tara? Please tell me who. I need to make this right. You're still family and no one messes with family of the club." Jax said frantically.

Op and Chibs nodded their head in agreement. But everything was cut short when Tara opened her mouth again.

"Ask your mother."

**A/N 2 review if you liked, or didn't. I'm open to criticism!**


	3. Capable?

**A/n here is chapter three! I figure it's done, why not load it? I've had a lot of positive feedback and for that I'm greatly appreciative. Well enough, the show goes on. **

"Ask your mother. " As soon as Tara spoke those words, all movement in the room stopped. We all looked to Tara. Panic set in when I realized she was unconscious.

" Chibs! Should we call an ambulance? She has a lot of injuries and has probably lost a lot of blood. I think she might be in shock. " Donna, ever the voice of reason said. I needed to get a grip on things, but she kept throwing bombshells at me. Firstly by showing up, then by all these strange accusations she is throwing at my mom. What's even stranger is the way my mom reacted. Could it possibly be that the fear and rage she was feeling was to protect herself? Is my mother capable of something this barbaric? There was no doubt in my mind, Gemma was capable of anything.

When I was lost inside my head, I didn't realize that they had made some decisions without me. Donna was packing a bag and Opie was just coming back into the room.

"Okay, ambulance should be here within 5 minutes. Let's get her to the main room so the paramedics don't have to look around too much. I've already told the Prospect to pull the tapes to see what time Tara wandered our way and if she was alone and possibly being followed."Opie said while helping Donna.

I was still stunned into immobility at the revelation of my mother. Opie went over and picked Tara up and walked her into the main room. He didn't have time to put her down before flashing red and blue lights shone through the windows. Opie continued his path straight outside.

"Can anyone tell me what happened?"a young female paramedic asked.

"I found her like this outside the building about an hour ago. She said someone had dropped her off at the Charming sign and she walked here. "Chibs offered up.

The young woman just stared blankly at Chibs. " She walked all the way from the edge of town? Was she wearing aany shoes or pants?" she stopped asking questions as we all shook our heads in the negative.

"Is anyone here family? "

" No. I heard that her dad died about 5 years ago and was her last living kin." I told her.

"Okay well you can't ride to the hospital with the ambulance, but you're welcome to follow us there and we can keep you updated." She smiled sadly at me, finished loading Tara up into the ambulance and closed the door. It was just a door, but somehow being closed away from Tara felt all too familiar.

Before the ambulance even had time to get to the main entrance, ten motorcycles were started and following closely behind. I was surprised to see Clay had let me take point behind the ambulance. It was a short ride to the hospital and the ambulance went straight to the ER entrance. We went to the main entrance so we could use the waiting room to converge in. Once we were all in the room, it hung thick with tension and unasked questions.

"What did she tell you?" Clay, our ever friendly leader spoke up first.

I made my tone as neutral as I could. "Well whoever attacked her did it in Lodi. They dropped her off at the Charming sign and she walked from TM from there."

A low murmur of astonishment at her trek through the night resounded.

"That's not all. " Opie interjected. " she said she was being kept at a house in Lodi. Didn't say by who only that it was a man and not for how long."

"Jesus Christ! How the fuck is this going on so close to home? With a known associate of the club?" Bobby spoke up for the first time.

"Its possible its not related to the club. She's been gone for 10 years." Clay reasoned.

"If it wasn't about the club in the beginning, the crow tattoo would have been a dead give away." I realized too late not everyone knew about the tattoo. "I was going to propose the day she left Charming. She knew and shegot the tattoo two days before that. She was going to be my old lady." I looked at Opie, he knew but you could tell it was a surprise to everyone else.

"She say anything else? Anything that could help us identify who did this? " Happy asked.

"Yeah" I turned my eyes back to Clay. "I asked who did it so I could make it right, and I will make it right, and you know what she told me? She told me to ask my mother."

"Oh please. Tara and your mom have always had bad blood. Especially since Tara left. She's just looking for someone to blame. Your mom is not capable of doing this."

I got right up in Clays face. Opie had his hand on my shoulder and Tig had side stepped to stand between my president and I.

"You know better than anyone else what exactly that woman is capable of. My dad learned the hard way and my guess is Tara did too. I will find out the truth. I hope for the sake of the club and for you and Gemma that there is a mistake in whatever Tara had been told. I will make this right. Trust that. When it comes to Tara, she's my old lady. And if I find out anyone in our associated with this club had any knowledge of her whereabouts, this VP badge and this cut won't mean shit." Opie pulled me back as the door was opening.

"Are you here for Tara Knowles?" a doctor asked. His scrubs are covered in blood and that made me extremely nervous. Op and I followed the doc into a more secluded spot in the room.

"She's pretty rough. She hasn't regained consciousness yet. She has a broken rib, a concussion, and a broken cheekbone. She's also extremely malnourished. She's down to 92 pounds. When she did her physical for orientation she was at 135."

"Orientation. Orientation for what?" I was confused how did the doc know her name if she wasn't conscious?

"Dr Knowles was set to start her residency here August 15th. She was here for pre-employment paperwork andher physical. She never came back for orientation, or any day after that."

I was stunned. August 15th. That was nearly 3 months ag. She had been in or near Charming recently. Why'd she decide to come back but not reach out? More questionable then that, it's her being in the hospital a result from her trying to reach out?

**A/N next chapter will be Taras pov. **


	4. Bait?

**A/n okay guys here's chapter 4! Taras pov on the last 6 hours!Thanks! TempeTempe  
**

**Tara pov **

"Just kill me please. I don't have the strength anymore. Just end things." I pleaded. I'd lost track of time but I think I've been here for two months, maybe more. The constant torture and abuse was becoming intolerable.

"Aw Tara. What fun would it be if I were to do that? You're supposed to be with me. I'm trying to show you how you need to live life to become the perfect woman. How can you run away from me? We spent all that amazing time together and you abandon me!" I felt a slap across my face. The blindfold I'd become accustomed to was firmly in place. You lose a lot of yourself in the constant darkness.

I heard a knock at the door then. I flinched. It's completely involuntary now. I've been conditioned to be this way. To be fearful. I heard a low murmur of voices. Soon his got louder.

"This might not have been the deal, but this is how it is now! You don't get to dictate things anymore. I did what you asked! I took her away from Charming." he was almost hysterical now.

There was a beat of silence and then my world came crashing down with the sound of a voice.

"I didn't ask you to kidnap her and torture her. I asked you to kill her. Deals off." then the door slammed shut.

My body lost all ambition to live. If she were after me, I'd be dead soon enough.

As soon as the door slammed shut I heard something glass break against a hard surface.

"Fuck! What am I going to do now?" yeah he was hysterical alright. Why was she here? Why did she want me dead? Did she hate me that much after ten years? I let her run me off ten years ago. I've changed, Jax has changed. Wait, deal? What deal? What was she doing making deals with a rogue ATF agent? Suddenly the blindfold was pulled from my face.

"You stupid bitch. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be you and me forever. Why'd you have to be involved with a god damn biker group? A gang, really Tara? You've had a good life with me and you run back here? I know I have a bad temper but it's because you're not perfect yet. And now thanks to you, I'm going to lose the biggest bust of my career! I need to find a way to make this right. I love you Tara, but my career is first in my life." He kissed me on my head and surprised me by not replacing the blindfold.

He walked out of the room and locked the three dead bolts from the outside. For the first time since I've been here, I was able to look around the room and move freely without the restraints of the blindfold. There were no windows, only a full size bed a table with a lamp on it, which was on, and the chair he usually had me tied to. In his absence I did something I didn't normally let myself do. I thought. I thought about Jax. Is he still just as rough and beautiful as he was 10 years ago. Does he have an old lady to replace me? I wouldn't blame him if he did. He probably assumed I had cold feet when I disappeared without a word. I hope I get the chance to tell him leaving and not contacting weren't by my choice.

I also thought about my friends. Were Donna and Opie still together? Was she being a dutiful old lady? Standing by her husband's side though all the shit the club went through? Was she even still alive? The club life can be hard and not everyone makes it out alive. Case in point John Teller. It was a motorcycle accident, but Jax wasn't sure he believed that.

I don't know how long I stayed lost in thought before I heard the keys jingling in the locks. A tell take sign that he was back. The look on his face scared me when he opened the door. I was laying in the middle of the bed and instinctively moved up against the headboard. He sat at the end of the bed and cleared his throat.

"I did a lot of thinking. And I came to a decision regarding our precarious situation. I'm sorry that I'm going to have to do this, but it really is the only way for us both. I'm going to let you go. But first there's something that I have to do. I love you Tara, and I'm sorry." Fear bubbled over in my stomach. I knew this wasn't good. I was going to be used as bait, but he'd have to make it much more than that. Before I could respond, he lunged. He grabbed me by my hair and flung me to the floor. While I was on the floor, he repeatedly kicked me all over my body. He kept me weak enough that I could never fight back. This time was no different. I felt a rib crack as he kicked me in the side for the fifth time. He ripped all my clothes off with the exception of my underwear and tank top.

'Please don't let this be happening.' Was all I could think to myself as he ripped my clothes off. All the torture I've been through and that's not something he's done. He's tried but couldn't get aroused enough to actually do it. I was jolted back to reality with a nasty kick to my face. I felt myself beginning to lose consciousness. The last thing I remember was him yanking the lamp off the table and hitting me continuously with that, in place of his foot.

I woke up sometime later, disorientated and tied up. I was in the backseat of his car, and I recognized the scenery. We were going to Charming. We drove for another 10 minutes before he pulled over. When he pulled me out, the headlights were shining on the "Welcome to Charming" sign.

"This is where we part dear Tara. You are to go straight to Teller Morrow and find Jax or a member who can find him. You put all the blame on Gemma. If I found out you fingered any blame on me, I'll come back and finish what she wanted me to." With those parting words he untied me and left me standing there. Covered in blood and wearing just my shirt and underwear.

I contemplated just staying where I was and waiting for someone to find me. I knew if I had to make it to the clubhouse, id have to not get caught first. It was three miles, so I began walking. I walked on the tree line where I could easily duck away if someone were to pass by. My body hurt and was still bleeding. My joints were stiff from not being used in so long. I walked for about 2 hours before I had to stop and rest. My medical training had long kicked in and I knew I wasn't dying yet , but I would be seen if I didn't get to Jax. Jax. I'd get to see him soon. That was enough. I willed myself up. I had to take detours through town to avoid being seen by anyone. It must have been another 2 hours before I saw the glow of the Teller Morrow shop. That gave me enough momentum to keep moving. I got about 10 feet into the entrance and I just collapsed. I couldn't move anymore. I hoped someone was here, or would come in soon and see me. I'd get too cold to stay conscious for long. My head was killing me and my broken rib was protruding out much farther now. I sat there tucked into myself for almost half an hour before headlights washed over my face. I couldn't move, but I knew I would be getting help soon. The motorcycle cut off a few meters in front of me. I heard the helmet hit the ground, and footsteps fast approaching. I prayed that it was Jax.

"Hey, are you okay? Can you hear me?" It was the Scottish member. He transferred in a little before I left.

"Jax! Jax!" he yelled. "Oh fuck, hang on darling, I'll get more help." With that he was gone. But with a promise to bring Jax, or at the last help, with him.

It didn't take long before I heard footsteps again, this time there were two sets.

"What the fuck is this?" I could have smiled at his crassness. I was elated to hear his voice, but stunned too. It was deeper but still help the same note of authority it always had.

"I don't know. I pulled into the shop and she was curled up against the building. Do you think we know her?" The scottsman asked.

I was starting to lose myself when I heard Jax talking, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. Before I knew it I was being touched. I flinched instinctively.

"No! Don't touch me! I was Jax! Jax!" The silence only lasted a beat before he came over and picked me up. He took me inside and laid me on the couch. He went to the back and I heard banging and his voice saying there was an emergency.

All the men had converged into the room and then the door swung open. I looked up and straight into Gemma's eyes.

"Brother. Jax you alright? What is it?" the scott asked. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Gemma to see how he had reacted.

"It's the past freight training through his heart." Gemma replied. Murmurs could be heard. "It's Tara."

She looked absolutely enraged, and a little scared. Jax began giving out orders to his other brothers.

I heard Donna's voice and I looked up at her. She had two small children with her and she looked good. Family and club life suited her. Opie spoke next telling Jax how on display I was. I was thankful for Opie most at that moment.

Jax instructed more things and told Gemma to come too. For a friendly face. I snorted.

"Yeah, friendly. Let Gemma come, she can see what happens when hate clouds judgment." Everyone turned to Gemma. She responded she'd wait out here and was gone in a flash. My guess is she was running away.

Jax took me back to his room at the clubhouse. Donna was washing the dirt and the blood off me. Her sad, strangled voice cut through the silence.

"Tara, what happened?"

Opie admonished her slightly, trying to save me again. Op, the saint.

"No, it's okay. I was being kept at a house in Lodi." I told them about being dropped off at the sign and walking here, but didn't mention Josh specifically. Jax pleaded with me.

"Who did this Tara? Please tell me who. I need to make this right. You're still family and no one messes with family." My heart broke at hearing him call me family. I was at one point, but could I be now? I began falling deeper into myself. Before I lost consciousness, I was able to say what was most important.

"Ask your mother."

And then it was black.

**A/N: Extremely special thanks to elbeewoods, wishuy, and xshynenstarx for being so responsive to this story! It's my first and the feedback, both good and bad, help me out a lot. **


	5. The Cut Don't Mean Shit

**A/N: This is back to Jax pov when he found out about Tara being gone for 3 months! Enjoy**

It had been three hours since our revelation of Tara's whereabouts. I relayed it to the guys. All were a mix between stunned and confused. The waiting room was still full of sons at this point. Myself, Tig, Opie, Chibs, Bobby, Happy, Juice, Clay, and the Prospect were all formed into small groups. Donna had joined us to sit vigil, waiting for Tara.

Opie, Chibs, Donna, and I decided to go to the chapel to talk.

"I can't believe this is happening. I have dreamt about Tara coming home for years, Jax. A decade! And now she's back and lying unconscious in a fucking hospital bed." Donna was pacing furiously in the aisle between the pews.

"Babe, calm down. We'll figure it out." Opie tried to calm his wife. "Jax. As much as I hate to ask, do you think there's truth to what Tara said about Gemma? I don't want to doubt Tara, I've known her most of my life, but it's your mom she's talking about. Gemma has taken care of us, and everyone around her our whole lives." Opie said. He had a look of deep concern in his eyes.

I was seated in one of the pews, my arms resting on my knees.

"Fuck man, I don't know. You didn't see the look in Gemma's eyes when she saw Tara laying bloody and broken on that couch. She looked enraged and scared. I thought she was scared for Tara, now I'm questioning if she were scared for herself. Tara said she was being kept by a man. The doctor said she's been missing for eleven weeks. What if my mom knew, or put it all in motion? Ugh, I don't know what to think."

Chibs came and sat down next to me. "Brother, the only thing that concerns me is that Gemma took off right away. I love her, but she's one nosy old lady. She ran away from Tara and hasn't shown up here." I could tell Chibs didn't want to admit that, but the others agreed.

"Shit, you're right. Let's go back to the others."

When we got back to the waiting room, everyone was there except for Piney. They all looked up when we entered. I went straight over to Half-Sack.

"Prospect. Go find Gemma. Bring her here, now. Try TM first, then her house, then my house. Whatever it takes to find her. If you still can't find her, call Unser. He'll help find her.

"Whoa, whoa. That's not going to happen. This needs to be discussed more Jax." Clay said.

I don't need your permission to talk to my own mother Clay. It's going to happen." Tension was getting higher in the small room.

"I'm not authorizing the prospect to run your errands Jax. This whole situation is ridiculous." Clay stepped in my way.

"Fine, I'll do it myself. This is between my mother and I. It's not a club issue. Yet." I moved around him. He put his hand on my chest, effectively stopping me. I looked down at his hand and back into his eyes. He must have saw something in mine because he pulled his arm back, but didn't move.

"I'm in charge here. This isn't open for discussion. As long as you wear that cut, you listen to me. Got that?" Clays voice was menacing, but I couldn't be phased.

"You're really going to make this about who's in charge? You're going to make me do this?" It was silent. He didn't answer. I just absently nodded my head. I started to take off my sweatshirt.

"Whoa Jax, don't do this." Tig and Bobby said simultaneously. "Let's take some time to think this through before you go all rogue on us." Tig finished.

"If he wants to go, let him go." Clay said.

I finished removing my sweatshirt and took my cut off. Low murmurs and swearing could be heard as I did this. I folded my cut and laid it on the back of the chair Clay was leaning against. Without looking back I left.

Opie, Donna, and Chibs followed me out.

"Jax, think this through." Opie begged.

"Op, it's okay. I can't leave without a vote, and he can't banish me without one either. Both have to be unanimous. I know you two bastards won't be giving the yay to either. I need to figure this out. I'll be around and in constant contact. Can I depend on you guys to help me out? Keep Clay level headed."

"No problem brother. I love Tara too. Donna and I will stay with her until she wakes up. My old man is at the clubhouse with the kids. Went there so Donna could come here. He knew Tara, but not as well as we do. Call me as soon as you know anything." Opie said.

"Yeah, will do." I gave Opie a strong hug and followed by giving Tara one too. I went to hug Chibs, but he stopped me.

"Nah ah Jackie Boy. I'm with you. Something ain't right here. I'm going to protect my VP." When Chibs was set on something there's no changing his mind.

"Alright, let's go. Call me if there are any changes with Tara. Big or small I want to know." I nodded towards the door and Chibs followed me out.

"Clay finds out you left, he'll be pissed." I said laughing as we walked.

"Aw, fuck it. He'll get over it. Let's go find Gemma."

We got on our bikes and went straight to the clubhouse.

"Chibs, check the office and the garage. I'll check the clubhouse." I took off running towards the clubhouse door. Piney was at the bar.

"Hey Piney, you seen Gemma?"

"No, not since about an hour ago." He put the bottle of tequila down. "She stopped by, said she was taking off for a bit, and I was to give you this." He handed me a small envelope. I couldn't stop the rage that consumed me. I almost didn't open it, but in order to find answers, I needed to face things head on.

This was one of those things.

**A/N: love it or hate it? Let me know :)**


	6. The Vote

**_A/N I've had a lot of people PM me about Happy. In my world, he's already a member of the Redwood Charter. Sorry if that was confusing because it's supposed to be pre-season 1. Thanks for all the support and feedback. I'm glad people are reading it! :) An on with Chapter 6!_**

_"__This was one of those things"_

Chibs came in when I was contemplating how to go about things. I needed to read the letter, but the pull to find Gemma was growing stronger with every breath I took.

"Jackie Boy. She's not there. Any luck in here?"

"Not quite. Piney said she took off an hour ago saying she was leaving for a while. Left this for me. Read it." I handed Chibs the envelope. I didn't know if I could read it right now. Chibs is less involved and more level headed then I am at this moment.

He opened it and read the note. It was quick, but the look on his face was haunting.

"We need to find Gemma. Now. Read it then we'll go." Chibs said.

I reluctantly took the note from Chibs slightly shaking hand.

_Jackson,  
__I see the end, there's no return  
__I can't turn back, the hate will burn  
__The doors are open, the end is near  
__I am not scared, I do not fear._

_You're too much like John.__I'm sorry._

What the fuck does all of that even mean? The hate will burn? So was Tara right? Mo mother really had something to do with her being kidnapped and beaten? My mother would be long gone by now….Clay. Did he know? Either way, he will know now. I got out my prepay and called Opie.

"Op, get everyone to the clubhouse ASAP. Ask Donna to stay with Tara please. I need everyone else here."

"Okay, be there shortly." Op, straight to the point.

I sat at the bar and picked up the bottle of tequila Piney had nursed, but since abandoned. I stared at the wood top of the bar. There were dents and nicks all over the surface. Some spots had lost its shine, and there were cigarette burns. It's weird how something so insignificant can be representative of my life to me. I identified with the dents and nicks because of my imperfections as a man. I've killed other men before. The dents and nicks leave holes in the surface, and I feel as though I lose a little of my soul every time I take another man's life. Whether he deserved it or not. The parts that have lost their shine are representative of the condition of my spirit since Tara had left me. I'm not as happy or as care free as I used to be. Tara evened me out. She complemented me quite effectively. And lastly, the burns in the top I immediately associate with the fiery burn in my heart and in my stomach. The burn of betrayal. My own mother. My flesh and blood has done something that directly affects me and in turn affects the club. I can't shake the bad feelings that I get when I think about what happens when one betrays the club. SAMCRO deals with it one day.

Death.

God, could I possibly be thinking of killing my mother? I don't know if I'm capable of that. I don't know if another brother could either. I'm getting ahead of myself. My mother didn't attack Tara, some man did. But she still had something to do with it. She was guilty of something, but what? The punishment would be defined by the actions taken.

When I thought of my mother being guilty I remembered she said I was too much like John. What would JT have to do with this? He had a lot of heart. He put it all into the club and was dedicated to his family as much as his club. He was a member of the first 9. He wanted the club to be a legitimate motorcycle club. No guns, no illegal shit. Well not huge illegal shit. The morale of the club was low because not everyone agrees with how Clay handles things. I found his manuscript and have attempt to confront Clay with ideas for legit business ventures. John went to the club with alternatives shortly before he died. Was that what happened?

I was cut off by my might have been epiphany by someone shaking my shoulders.

"Jax. Hey, come on. What's up with you Brother? I've been calling your name for two minutes. Everyone is in chapel. Time to tell us what the hell has you so fucked up." Opie, my brother of many sorts knew something was wrong. I'm glad he had gotten out of prison and decided to come back to the club. I needed a solid force by my side.

I grabbed the bottle of tequila, the note, and walked to chapel with a purpose. I would expose my mother, and question Clay. As an old lady, Gemma didn't do anything without Clay's permission. Not if she wanted to live through the day.

When I walked in, all the men were in they're appointed spots. No one was talking but everyone wanted to. I looked around at my brothers and though about who would be on my side after learning the truth. Would anyone help me in my pursuit of justice for Tara?

My eyes fell first on Clay. There's no way he'd approve. Next to my empty seat was Bobby. He'd be a wild card. He'd want justice, but would probably help find the man that was responsible, not Gemma. No one knows what the hell Juice think half the time. Happy, the Man of Mayhem, would be on my side. He's all about making things right, not about feelings. Piney would learn towards Op and I, but wouldn't like it. Opie and Chibs were solidly on my side. And lastly there was Tig. He would do as Clay says. He's a loyal lap dog, without the benefits of humping his owners legs.

I made it to my seat and Clay began to speak. "Wanna tell us why you called us all here? To Chapel no less." I looked to Piney.

"Gemma's gone." Piney said.

"What do you mean she's gone? She go home?" Bobby asked.

"No, not home. She's gone. She ran away. She's guilty of something and we need to find out what. I'm voting to find Gemma. Not hurt her, but talk to her." I replied as evenly as I could.

"Where's the proof huh? You wanna go after your mom? Show me the proof." Clay was growing angry. Instead of passing the note around, I read it aloud to them. I tried to keep my voice as void of emotion as possible.

Everyone was confused by the poem. They knew something wasn't right though.

"Shit!" Clay slammed his hands down. Either he knew something else or was in denial about the situation before now.

"We really have to vote on this? Now you know the proof. She's guilty of something." I just wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Of course it goes to a vote. Majority wins."

It was silent for a minute, giving everyone time to process the news and make a decision. After about five minutes, Clay started.

"I do not approve. Nay." Clay voted.

"Yay." My vote

Next was Bobby, the wild card. "Jax, this is Gemma. Your mom. I'm sorry. Nay." I nodded at him.

Juice also voted negative.

Happy was straight to the point with his vote. "I want answers. Yay."

The nays were ahead by one vote. I was getting anxious about Piney. He didn't look up at me. He just stared at the table.

"Nay." My heart dropped. My plan would fall through because of a crazy old man with sentimental history with my mother.

Opie was stunned too. He stared directly as his father when he voted. "I'm with you Jax. Yay"

Chibs was next. "Sorry, I've got to back my VP. Yay."

We all turned to look at Tig who seemed to be having a silent conversation with Clay. I was screwed. There's a minute fraction of a chance that Tig would side against Clay. I started to surrender after Piney opted out. Now I was waving a white flag. I wouldn't let it go, but I'd have to do it without the clubs support. I've gone against the club before, what's one more thing?

"Tig, your decision?" I asked impatiently.

"Fuck, I'm sorry man." I hung my head in defeat. "It's a yay."

"What?!" Clay and I asked simultaneously.

"I'm sorry Clay. Something ain't right. Jax said he'd find her not kill her. He'll be held accountable for his actions. As is Gemma. This is the way it should be. You're just too proud to admit it because she's your old lady." Looks like someone's sleeping outside tonight.

"The yays have it." Clay slammed his gavel down hard on the table. I got up and Opie, Chibs, and Happy followed suit.

"Jax." Clay called to me. "You get your cut back when Gemma's home safe."

Happy and Opie offered to come with me. "Nah, I'll go alone or take Chibs. Happy, you gotta stay here and help deal with the Irish in a couple days. Op, I need you to be the eyes and ears at the hospital. You also need to keep Donna sane. She's going to become edgy and things will get hectic. Don't keep her out of the loop. Let her in, Op. Help each other." I hugged him when I said this. "I'm riding to Gemma's house. Chibs, you coming?"

"Definitely brotha."

When we got to Gemma's, her Escalade was in the driveway, but the house was dark. Chibs went to the front door, I went through the back. We met up in the living room.

"No sign of her, but she packed a bag before she left. Things were strewn on the bed and floor and she took some stuff from the bathroom. She didn't take her car, how how did she get out of town? A cab maybe?" Chibs questioned.

I thought for a moment. Would Gemma take a cab? It would make sense. They wouldn't ask any questions. Then it clicked. I know someone else who wouldn't ask any questions.

"Come on. We're going to the station."

**:) The poem Gemma left for Jax was something I had written in high school. It seems as though it was destined to be put into another work of literature! Hope you guys liked it!**

**TempeTempe.**


	7. Tara's confidant

**A/N Sorry it took so long, we went away for the holidays. Here is Chapter 7 and it is told in 3rd person since there's so much to cover! Thanks.**

**Police Station**

When Jax and Chibs pulled into the station parking lot, Unser was just coming out of his car.

"Jax. Chibs. What can I do for you?" he asked warily.

Jax looked him straight in the eye. "You can tell me where Gemma is."

"How could I do that? I'm not your mothers keeper." Wayne was on edge today, Jax could tell.

"Wayne. I don't have time for this. I need to know where Gemma went. And I need to know now. I don't have time for your bullshit. She needed to get out fast and not get asked any questions. Now you fit that bill perfectly."

"Listen Jax. I don't know what's going on, but she's your mother. She was a wreck, saying she was in danger and needed help. Please tell me the danger isn't you." Unser had more to say, but Jax cut him off with a gun to his face.

"The danger my mother may be in is on her own volition. She's not in trouble, but she will be if she hides. Hiding shows guilt. Now again. Where. Is. Gemma?" Jax enunciated his last three words.

"Jesus, I don't know. I took her to a bus stop about ten minutes past Oakland. Didn't tell me where she was going. Made a comment about seeing someone she hated more then Tara, and not being at home." Unser took a deep breath when Jax withdrew the gun from his face.

"Somebody wanna tell me what the fuck is going on? What's got you on a man hunt for your mom and you waving a goddamn gun in my face?"

"Nope." Jax replied. He had holstered his gun and was headed back to his bike.

"Jackie Boy. You know where she's going don't ya?" Chibs asked.

Jax ran his hands over his scruffy face.

"Yeah, she went home to her parents house. Rose is the only person on earth my mother could hate more then Tara."

-FFTTF-

**Hospital-**

Opie had just walked into the waiting room that Donna was hanging out in when a doctor came out.

"Family for Dr. Knowles?"

Donna had jumped up to stand next to her husband.

"Okay, she's awake. She's been asking for Jax." The doctor turned to Opie. "Are you by chance him?"

Opie smiled. Of course she'd ask for Jax. "No, sorry. But I think I'll make an okay substitute. I'm Opie Winston and this is my wife, Donna."

"Perfect. She's asked for Donna and has mentioned an Op. I'm assuming that's you? She's been kind of loopy because of the pain medication, but it's wore off by now. You're both welcome to go in. She's in room 127. The nurse will show you the way." The doctor ushered them to the nurse who in turn ushered them to Tara's room.

Opie needed to call Jax, but he wanted to see Tara awake for himself first. Opie couldn't stop the emotion that coursed through him seeing Tara laying in a hospital bed, wired up, and beaten. He had known Tara for a long time. He couldn't help make the comparison to Donna. Could something like this happen to her? The club life was hard on the members, harder on the old ladies.

"Hey, Op. You okay?" Tara's voice brought him out of his musings.

"Yep. Glad you're awake." Opie kissed her on the head and walked to the other side of the room. He got out his cellphone and called Jax.

"Yeah?" Jax answered.

"Tara's awake, brother. And yes, I checked on her first. I'm looking right at her." Opie answered, winking at Tara.

"That's good news. She say anything yet?"

"No, we just walked in. I checked on her and called you right away. Hey, hold on a second." Opie handed Tara the phone.

"Jax?" Tara questioned quietly. She heard Jax sigh on the other end. She wished Jax was with her, not somewhere else.

"Yeah, darling. It's me."

"Are you coming here?" Tara asked, fear creeping into her voice.

"Not right now. I'm really busy right now. But as soon as I'm back in Charming, I'll come see you. But for now, Donna and Op are always going to be there. If it's not them, someone with a patch I can trust will be there." Tara had started crying at how genuine he sounded. "Listen, I gotta go. Chibs and I are refueling. We're about three hours away from where we're going. Op will keep me updated and leave you with a prepay that will have any contacts you need. And Tara. I love you." Before Tara could answer, he had hung up. Tears were now running full force down her face.

"Hey, you alright?" Donna asked.

"He loves me." was all Tara could say.

Opie started laughing. "Yeah, no shit."

Donna shot him a hard look.

"What? I'm just saying it's not a surprise." After a few more "pleasantries", Opie got right to the point.

"Tara can you start all over? Tell us how everything started, and what happened?" Opie looked over at Tara who had begun playing with her sheets and then wringing her hands.

"Only on one condition. You relay it to everyone else. I don't want to have to tell the story 50 times. I tell you, you tell everyone else, including Jax." Tara bargained.

"Anything you want Tara. Just talk to us."

Tara took a deep breath before beginning her story.

"After I was forced out of Charming 10 years ago, I needed something to keep my mind busy. All I wanted to do was come back. My self preservation told me that wasn't a good idea though. So I went to college and enrolled in the medical field. I went to med school immediately after graduation. I was in Chicago my last year of med school where I met a man named Josh. He was charming and had a stable life. He's an ATF agent." She paused when she saw Opie stiffen in her peripheral vision. She waited to see if he was going to say anything, but he was silent, so she continued.

"Things were good for about six months. Then things...weren't. He started yelling at me more often. Diminishing every accomplishment I'd made when he wasn't succeeding at work, and hitting me on occasion. It was bad. I had only 2 months left until I could start my residency with a hospital. I'd done internships and now I could start my residency. I broke things off with Josh after one really nasty physical altercation, and focused on my schooling. After about a week, I'd notice him on campus, near my apartment, even at the hospital I was interning at. He was stalking me, Op. I knew I needed out, so I looked for jobs near my home. A job as a neonatal surgeon had just come up here in Charming and it seemed like fate. I got accepted for the job almost immediately. I packed up, and moved home. I was staying in Lodi until the closing and everything happened on a house here in Charming." Tara took a deep breath and continued.

"When I was in town looking at houses, I ran into Gemma. I was at the store buying some things before I left for Lodi. She seemed pleasant which should have been my first problem. Asked me where I'd been, what I was up to for ten years. Acting as if she completely forgot she pushed me out of Charming a decade ago.

" I didn't think anything of it, until a week later. I was coming back to where I was staying in Lodi, gathering the last of my things to move to Charming. I was locking up when I felt someone push me back into the room. I was disorientated, but I knew who it was. Josh had found me. He left me tied up or in a locked room for nearly 3 months. I didn't know if Gemma had anything to do with it, until today. I was begging Josh to just kill me. To end it." Tara's voice was breaking. Donna was crying, but trying not to show her despair for her friends sake.

"There was a knock at the door, and Josh began arguing with someone. He was angry. Then I heard Gemma's voice." Tara stopped to look up at Opie. She knew she needed to share what she heard, but she was worried. She was being used as leverage to make a deal. Would it be against the whole club? Against Jax and Opie? She took a deep breath.

"Opie, I need to tell you what Gemma said, but you're not going to like it." Again, Opie stayed silent, but Tara knew she had Opie's undivided attention.

"Gemma's exact words were 'I didn't ask you to kidnap and torture her. I asked you to kill her. Deals off.' " Tara watched Opie. She watched the emotion flickering across his face until his face just became blank. The silence stretched on for about a minute before Donna spoke.

"Op, what does this mean?"

"It means I need to call Jax." Opie excused himself and got out his phone. He tried Jax four times, leaving two messages before he gave up and called Happy.

"Hey, it's Op. Come to the hospital ASAP. I'll meet you in the waiting room."

"5 minutes." was the response he got before Happy hung up.

Opie went back to Tara's room. "Donna, you stay with with Tara. Do NOT leave her side. I'm meeting Hap in the waiting room. We won't be far."

Happy entered the room to find a pacing Opie angrily shutting his phone.

"Opie, what the fucks going on?"

"Gemma made a deal with a fucking ATF agent." Opie could tell that Happy didn't believe it.

"Come on man. It's Gem."

"Happy, why'd you vote yay to this?" Happy thought about it for a minute.

"Because something wasn't right."

"And don't you think that this can be that something that isn't right? Gemma had someone to kill Tara. Instead of killing her, he kidnapped her and tortured her. He was her ex boyfriend from Chicago. And he was the AFT agent Gemma made a deal with." Opie didn't need to finish his sentence before Happy had heard enough.

"Gemma is ratting on the club? What the fuck is the world coming to?" Happy was beside himself. Happy went to ask another question, and was cut off by Opie's cellphone.

"Jax. Where are you?"

"Almost to my mother. Where are you?" Jax asked. Was this a puzzle?

"I'm at the hospital with Tara. She told us a lot of things you need to know about. You got a minute? I want you to know the details before you get to Gemma." Opie was frantic.

"Op, are you alright? What's going on with Tara?"

Opie sighed. "Short version for now. Tara was in an abusive relationship back in Chicago with a guy named Josh. She said your mother forced her out of Charming 10 years ago, but didn't elaborate." Opie was cut off by Jax.

"What the fuck do you mean 'forced out'?"

"Jax, let me finish. She went to med school and halfway through her last year, the guy she was dating turned crazy and she broke it off after he beat her up. Then he started stalking her. She got a job as a surgeon here in town, thinking it was fate that it came up right before she was applying for jobs. She was staying in Lodi until she found a house. She ran into your mother when she was house hunting and Gemma played nice. Then a week later, the crazy ex came back and held her in that house for almost three months. Then today someone came to the door and he started arguing with them. Tara said she then heard your mom's voice. Jax, this is going to be hard, but I have to tell you what she said. Gemma told Josh that she didn't ask him to kidnap and torture Tara, she asked him to kill her." He heard Jax take a deep breath. "Jax, that's not all. She then told him that the deal was off."

"Deal, what deal? Who the fuck is this guy?"

"He's ATF."

Opie was only met with silence on the other end.

**DUN DUN DUN! :) Working on a long Chapter 8! I'm digging the writing aspects!**


	8. Loyalties

**A/N **Here's chapter 8 and it's again in 3rd person pov. Thanks.

He's ATF." Opie said.

Jax dropped the phone. All coherent thought left his mind.

"Jax. Jackie Boy. What's going on?" Chibs picked the phone up. "Op, you there? Ello?"

"Yeah Chibs, I'm here. Jax alright?" Opie was concerned. "He just got a lot of information."

"I'll take care of it Op. See ya soon, brotha." Chibs closed the phone and turned back to Jax. "Hey, you ready? I need to know what's going on, but time is of the essence youngin." Chibs mounted his motorcycle and patiently waited for Jax to come to his senses. Chibs only had to wait about 5 minutes and Jax was on his bike, leading the way.

They went to a car rental service and picked up a van. They had left in such a hurry, they didn't think about transporting Gemma back to Charming. They got a full size utility van that they could easily put their bikes in. It would be less conspicuous riding up in a van than two loud Harleys.

It was another 15 minutes to Gemma's parents' house. Chibs offered to drive. Jax could barely sit still, let alone drive right now.

When they arrived, Jax went through the front and Chibs went to guard the back exit. Jax knocked on the front door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Jax heard from the other wide of the door.

"Yes. Can I help you? "A young Hispanic woman asked when she swung the door open. Jax thought for a moment that he had the wrong house, but asked anyways.

"Yeah. I'm here to surprise my mother. Gemma Teller? She was coming to visit her parents, my grandparents. I'm Jackson Teller."

A smile lit her face. "That's sweet. She's in the kitchen." The woman pointed behind her. Jax took a deep breath and walked through the threshold of the next step of his plan.

He peered around the kitchen and saw his mother sitting at the table smoking. He moved his whole body into the doorway and waited. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for. For Gemma to see him thus giving her the chance to run? He needed to talk to her more than ever, but he couldn't hold back the intense hate that coursed through him when he thought about what this woman had done to Tara. He pulled out his gun and turned off the safety. Gemma must have heard the click because at that moment, she looked up into Jax's steely blue eyes. Gemma made a move to stand up and Jax raised his gun. Gemma scoffed.

"You gonna shoot me Jackson?" Her voice was steady until she spoke her son's name.

"I might. You don't know what I'm capable of. I am your son after all." Gemma's eyes widened at that.

Gemma began to take calculated steps to the side and Jax let her move towards the doorway.

"Is everything okay in here?" The young woman who answered the door asked.

At the same moment that Jax hid his weapon, Gemma took off out back.

"Excuse me," Jax said and took off after her.

He got to the back in time to see Gemma wrestling to get out of Chibs' hold.

"Calm down Gem. I ain't gonna hurt you. If you keep, you'll hurt yourself though." Gemma huffed, but stilled. Chibs gave a knowing look to Jax. He nodded his head at his Scottish brother.

"Alright, move it." Chibs told Gemma.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To Charming. Where you belong. We have a lot to catch up on on the way." Jax was surprised at the biting tone Chibs had with Gemma. Jax wasn't the only one who noticed.

"I expected if I was found, it'd be by Jax and Op. Not you Philip." Gemma was trying to lay the nostalgia on thick with Chibs.

"Oh don't start the Philip shit with me Gem. And no one fucks with the club and gets away with it. Not even the ear old matriarch. You should know this. We've gotten revenge on things much less serious than this." Chibs was in a rare Gemma hating mood today.

They were to the van and Gemma was in the back seat between Jax and Chibs seats when she asked the proverbial question.

"And what exactly is it you think I did? What did that little bitch say?"

Jax turned from the passenger seat and slapped his mother hard across the face. Gemma looked up at him stunned. She clutched the side of her face and tears pooled in her eyes.

"Jackson," she whispered, clearly shocked by his actions.

"You know what? I'll tell you. I'll tell you what you 'supposedly' did if you answer me one question. Did you force Tara out of Charming 10 years ago?" his breathing was even, but his voice was angry. Gemma narrowed her eyes at her son when she spoke.

"Yeah, I did. Is that what you want to hear? I did what I had to do to protect you Jax. I could see what was happening with you! You would have married that girl and the plans I had for you would have been ruined!" She yelled at him

"YOUR plans for me?! Are you fucking serious? What about my plans, huh? You love me so much, but you set all this in motion. And the consequences are not pretty, Gemma. There are MANY things you need to answer for. Right now, we want to know why you wanted Tara killed and what deal you made with her psychotic fucking ex."

All the blood left Gemma's face.

"Shit."

-FTTTF-

**Hospital**

Opie was still coming to terms with what all he'd heard, and Happy was sitting quietly next to him.

"Should we talk to the rest of the guys?"

"No, I think we should wait for our VP before we do that. I don't know how they'll react, but Jax should be here. But call Tig, get him here." Opie was cut off by his cell phone ringing. It was Donna.

"Donna, sorry. Happy and I—" but he didn't finish.

"Op. I'm in the bathroom. There's some guy here in Tara's room and she's freaking out." Opie didn't need to hear more. He took off running for Tara's room and Happy followed close behind.

When they got to the room, Donna was again sitting diligently by Tara's side. When the attention was drawn to them, all three people turned to the doorway. Luckily Opie caught the look on Tara's face and her shake of the head. Opie knew by the fear on Tara's face, that this was the man who would be dying for what he did. But he didn't need to know that, not quite yet.

"Ah, SAMCRO. I figured you'd join soon enough. Where's your VP?" he shuffled some papers in his hands. "Jackson Teller?"

"He's out on business. Wanna leave a message?" Opie asked sarcastically.

"Oh, how nice. You must be his bitch. Opie Winston?" Opie stiffened

"Yeah, but I have a feeling I'll be replaced real soon." Happy laughed from beside Opie.

"Funny" the other guy deadpanned.

"Well, I'll be around. Oh, I'm Agent Kohn. ATF." He added almost as an afterthought. Tara began to tremble.

"Get well soon Ms. Knowles. I think you're going to be a great asset to me soon." Opie's hand twitched towards his gun, but Happy stopped him. After Kohn had left, Happy spoke up.

"I'm all for the Mayhem brother. And I think the time is always right, but this sure as shit ain't the place."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Thanks man."

"I'm going to call Tig. You should call Jax, get an update."

Opie turned back to the women and immediately went to their side.

"Are you okay Tara?"

"I can't do this anymore, Op. I can't…I can't be in constant fear. I'm exhausted. I don't want to do this anymore. Please, help me." Tara was inconsolable and Opie didn't have any other option but to call Jax.

'Please answer your phone.' Opie thought over and over until Jax finally picked up.

"What's up Op? Now's not the best time."

"It's Tara." Opie wasn't able to finish his sentence before Jax cut him off.

"What happened? Is she okay?"

"You'll have to talk to her brother. There's more to it then I could say." Opie handed Tara the phone, who took it immediately.

"Jax?" Tara asked hopefully. Her voice still thick with the emotion she was feeling.

"Yeah, babe. It's me. What's going on?"

"He came here Jax. He came here and acted as though nothing happened. Jax, I don't want to do this anymore. I need you." Tara's words were getting jumbled in her head. From the other side of the phone, Tara heard Jax punch something.

"He came there? To your room? Where the fuck was Op?"

"Don't blame him Jax. He was here. But Josh can't know you know. He said if I mentioned his name or implicated him in any way, he'd do what Gemma asked him to and he'd kill me. Please Jax, don't let them kill me."

"Trust me. That won't happen. Anything at all happens to you again, and they both die. No questions asked. I have one here with me now, and it won't be long before the other meets his fate. I'll be home in 4 hours. Put Op back on. I love you, Tara." Tara could tell from his voice how he meant those words.

"I love you too, Jax." Tara managed a small smile as she handed the phone off to Opie.

"Jax, I'm sorry. She didn't want me to do anything. I now know why, but the fear stopped me cold at the time. I'm sorry, brother." Jax sighed.

"It's okay, Op. We'll get it straightened out. It concerns me that ATF is digging, but he won't be around much longer. We'll be home in about 4 hours. Have everyone at the clubhouse in 3 hours. Just in case Chibs here gets a lead foot." Chibs hit the accelerator and laughed.

"Don't tell anyone anything. Just say there's new developments and send them there. Have Donna stay with Tara and I'll try to secure the prospect. If the prospect can't, then I'll get Unser in.

"Alright Jax. See ya soon."

"After Jax hung up, the van hung thick with implications he had made. Gemma spoke first.

"Whatever you're planning, you'll never get away with. If Clay knew where you were right now, he'd have your head." She spat. Jax laughed. "He does know where I am. And he has my cut, not head."

"Clay knows you came after me? He would never okay this." she retorted.

"He didn't have a choice. I didn't go just to Clay, I went to the whole club. It went to vote. You know the rest."

"Huh...Son of a bitch. Guess I know where loyalties lie. Chibs, you clearly voted for it."

"Yes ma'am, I did. And I'd do it again."

"Loyalties don't lie with an old lady. Loyalties lie to the club her husband belongs to. You should know that. Clay shuts you out. Something John never did. The club was loyal to John, and you by default. But Clay, Clays burning bridges fast. I don't know how it'll all play out, but loyalty won't be an issue."

**A/N **Sorry guys...cut this chapter down the middle because I wanted to get it uploaded and I was in the hospital earlier in the week... let me know how you like it!


	9. Hopeless and Alone

A/N: Okay so I understand that this got put on the back burner, but with life things like this happen. I've not abandoned it, though it seems that way. I'm sorry for that.  
If you're still with me, here's chapter 9

_"Loyalties don't lie with an old lady. Loyalties lie to the club her husband belongs to. You should know that. Clay shuts you out. Something John never did. The club was loyal to John, and you by default. But Clay, Clays burning bridges fast. I don't know how it'll all play out, but loyalty won't be an issue."_

"What would you know about loyalty, Jackson? Where's your loyalty to your mother when your choosing some whore over family?!" Gemma spit at him.

"Ma, unless you want to get his again, I'd watch what you're saying about her. She's beat to shit and guess who's to blame? You are. You've basically already admitted it now, but let's see what the other members have to say, especially when they find out you sent an ATF agent on our tails. Doesn't bode well for you, Mother."

"You have NO idea what you've gotten yourself into over that girl, Jackson. She would have come back and she would have ruined everything. I pushed that little bitch out 10 years ago, and if that sick bastard could have just kept her in his hands, I wouldn't have had to worry about this. Can't trust the fucking feds to do shit the right way." Again, Gemma's anger gets the best of her when she realizes that she's fucked up, let out too much information.

"Sit back and shut up. I will not hesitate to shoot you, mother. You are family after all. This is apparently how we treat our family around here." Jax hesitate for a moment and thought of the letter in his pocket.

"What do you mean when you said I was too much like my father?" Jax asked, pain evident in his voice.

"Exactly what I said. He was so ambitious, wanting to get the club into legitimate businesses. Like he didn't love the money coming in and he was such a fucking saint. Did you know he was fucking a whore in Ireland? Yeah, you're dad was no saint."

"Well, it's only fitting if he was fucking a whore in Ireland, when his whore in the states was fucking his best friend. Gotta make sure that shoe stays on the other foot, Gemma." Chibs said sneering. He knew of Maureen and didn't like that Gemma was so berating towards her, when Gemma is the one that led John to Ireland.

The rest of the ride was silent, and Chibs did decide to hit the gas, so they made it to Charming in record time. When they pulled up to the clubhouse, all the bikes were there and waiting for the return of the fallen Queen.

Jax pulled Gemma out of the back of the van, not even taking time to be nice to her. He just wanted this situation over with. Still feeling ill about the thought of hurting his mother, he would do it, if that's what the club mandated. Though he was almost certain now that Clay would be a deciding factor in this whole situation. Gemma didn't outright say if he was involved, but there just had to be more then her orchestrating this. She's smart, but not that smart. It takes research and time to get this shit together.

Gemma pulled out of Jax's grip and led herself into the clubhouse. All the men were sitting around the chapel table, and Kozik was also there, from the Tacoma charter. No one said a word as they filtered into the chapel room. Gemma's eyes stayed intently on Clay as she made her way to the end of the table. Opie gave her a disgusted look as she walked by to take Piney's seat he had vacated to stand with Kozik. When Jax spotted Opie, he inquired about who was making sure Tara was secure.

"I got Unser down there. He's not happy because we didn't report it to him, we just took it to the hospital. Delusional old man." Opie laughed, but it was a strained one at best.

"Well since we're all here, we might as well get down to business and make decision regarding this matter." Clay said, dismissively. Jax knew right away this would be hard, but he didn't think Clay would make it impossible. He was quickly realizing how wrong he was.

"You got anything you want to say for yourself, or do you want me to speak for you?" Jax asked.

"I'm not saying shit." Gemma spit at the group.

"Yeah figured as much." Jax went on to tell them about Gemma making Tara leave all those years ago. He also told them about her involvement with a rogue ATF agent and who he was in relation to Tara. Jax could tell that no one was really believing him except for Chibs who witnessed it first hand, and Opie, who didn't want to believe it, but did.

"Nah, this is bullshit, Jax. Your mom couldn't do that." Juice said.

"So you think I have that great of an imagination that I could make all this shit up in the time I left the clubhouse to get her until now?" he asked angrily.

"No, but I think someone who happens to be a doctor has had a lot of time on her hands to make shit up like this." Clay said

Jax scooted himself back and was ready to launch himself at Clay for the horrible comments he was making about Tara. Chibs stopped him and smiled at Jax cryptically.

"So, I knew no one would believe anything that we said, so I kind of went all spy on us. I planted two tape recorders when I paid for the rental. Sorry Gem, you're fucked." Chibs said sardonically.

Gemma face paled and she got up and make a move out. But being handcuffed and separated from the door so severely but a dent in her plans.

Chibs got out the recorders and asked Jax if he were ready.

There were such mixed emotions before the tapes even started playing. And as the tapes went on, the mixed emotions went to those of straight anger from everyone at the table, including Clay.

"Fucking feds, Gemma? What did you do?" Happy asked her.

"You ratted?!" Bobby asked, his anger paling in comparison to Jax's.

"I didn't rat on the club. That's not what the deal was for."

"So you really made a fucking deal with the fed. To have Jax's old lady killed, and what else?" Opie asked.

"First of all, that little bitch isn't his old lady. She's just some slut that let Jax use her to get his dick wet. And yeah, I made a deal, but it was only for one member, not the club."

Stunned silence washed over the room. Then it erupted into hysterical screams from all men. Clay was trying to keep order, but quickly realized it wasn't useful.

"Alright, alright, ALRIGHT!" Clay yelled. "Gemma who did you make a deal against?"

Gemma smiled her little devil smile and turned her eyes to her son.

"Too bad you weren't more like Clay, then things wouldn't have to be this way. Instead your just like John. Hopeless. And now, you can be hopeless, and alone, in prison."


End file.
